Mental Health, Ramblings

I can only run for so long

I have a bad habit of letting my mistakes snowball out of control. I’m sure most of us do, as it seems to be part of human nature.

An important part of a safe pregnancy is to make sure you handle any and all major dental work before you conceive. Now, if you’re like me and are absolutely terrified/despise the dentist, then you avoided it for the past…. 10 years.

I don’t have any teeth that are loose, nothing is crumbling, and most of the time nothing hurts. I have receding gums around my molars, but otherwise nothing ever hurts me. Of course, I possibly learned to ignore it due to my past experiences.

I’ve never had a good dental visit. The dentists were always short, annoyed, and brutal with me. The last dentist I went to had his nurse hold me down because I kept squirming as he tried to drill on a tooth WITHOUT any numbing agent. I kept telling him it didn’t set in, but he was just getting annoyed and finally told the nurse to pin my shoulder down as he drilled my tooth. I, of course, screamed. He didn’t care, and he just sighed and filled whatever he could.

After that, I haven’t gone back.

Now, as I am trying to conceive, I realize that 10 years is a lot of running. Hopefully nothing is truly wrong, but if something is then it is time to take care of it. I’ve never had anything more serious than a crown, while the rest of my family has about 8 root canals between them. I’m fully prepared for the worst….

But accepting that I am fully prepared for the worst has helped me realize that I can confront this. I have come to terms with the fact that my running has led me nowhere, except facing the monster I tried to leave behind. The only way out, is through.

Whether it’s the fear of the dentist, finishing that last year of college, or telling that bitchy friend to shove it… sooner is better than later. Don’t wait 10 years like I did. But of course, if you waited 10 years, or even longer, then the next best time to start…. is now.

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